First the statement. For me, flagging is not censorship. It is a heads up. Now, the rumination.
As a person who was raised by fairly extreme Christians (I was born on the so-called mission field) I grew up with an aversion to certain language. And a very PC practice. That was a trained response. I’ve turned it on it’s head. I curse like a trucker when the kids aren’t around (I try). Which is neither good nor ill, depending. Different strokes for different folks? If my language is always ‘gutter’, though, I feel I’m probably not very eloquent and fail my objective in communicating in some way. So, I do try to reflect before blurting. o9(&(|#r43STR@#’!
I practice a fair amount of self-censorship in different contexts (the editorial staff in comparison with tech staff, for instance), and, of course, around children. I also have different levels of ‘self-control’ when it comes to experiencing emotions. Sometimes I’m really theatrical (perhaps painfully so), and sometimes really sober.
I really don’t wish to live with the dissonance but don’t see a realistic way to be who I am without simply dealing with the consequences of the extremes of my behavior. What’s the worst case? I feel the need to apologize? So, I do? Or even then, alienate someone? I take it as a given that I will alienate some people, some of the time.
I think it’s better to be as one is. If that produces a flag, ok. so be it. Let’s see if there is a compromise. Given the complexity of human psychology, I certainly don’t expect a system, a moderator or any individual person to somehow magically hit the right balance FOR ME. I don’t expect to be served.
On top of it all, a lot of people in this forum are speaking/writing a second language. How ‘fine’ their feeling for what is offensive is questionable. Or rather, variable. What is offensive? (see George Carlins 7 words you can’t say on television George Carlin / Seven Words You Can't Say On Television - YouTube OFFENSIVE language. well, not to me.)
I’m always going to be amazed by what/how other people feel. I don’t think that any policy or code of conduct can capture the nuances. And I don’t expect the operator to justify every decision just because it doesn’t suit me.
Much of what has been listed above depends on ‘moderators’. That neglects the fact that this is a largely self-moderated forum. The flagging is delegated, in the main, to people who’ve been around for a while (so, a kind of meritocracy) and don’t seem to offend the moderators. Placing the emphasis on moderators instead of a balance of algo+member+moderator, would effectively ‘flatten’ the responses.
It would lead, I believe, in the long term to more clarity, but less freedom. And we would all suffer.
Some more clarity might be attained by more information about the system as it is. And maybe it can be fine tuned some. But I don’t like the demanding tone in much of the discussion.